Two events

I was working on the summer camp bill, when H said "I would like to work on the reimbursement." Me: "OK", then glanced at the small pile of unpaid yet enveloped bills on the kitchen chair "but, can you finish them first?"

H (unhappy voice): "Reimbursement is really important. Let me do it first!" He walked away. A moment later, I heard sound of wash machine. 15 minutes later, no H in sight. He was still upstairs.

Me: "H, what are u doing up there?"

H: "I am collecting the receipt for the reimbursement"

Me: "Can you come down plse.." I was getting angry.

When he came down, I told him that he ignore my request to clean up the bills on the chair. H argued that I always want him to do my "things" first no matter what he was up to. And that I had agreed that he could work on the reimbursement first because I said "OK" and then I changed my mind and that make him unhappy.

I told him that I got angry because I feel that he ignored my request and my points behind that request was really not my things is more important, but that he has to clean up his old work first, which was left by him several days ago. I also said that my "OK" was not an agreement, but only acknowlegement and he was merely playing word game for the sake of argument.

Our argument got heated up. I feel extremely angry. But eventually H backed off. He agreed that we need to clean up old stuff first and not to make assumption that I was always up to him personally. And be less emotionally and focus on the points I was trying to get cross.

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When H picked up A from school, I was in bathroom. I heard A kept asking "Dad, where is mom, where is mom?" H did not answer her, rather said "take off your shoes!" repeatedly in a cold voice. But A kept asking, and H said "you must first take off your shoes before you can find mommy."

At that point I said " can you pls use softer voice to her?"
H: "Was my voice bad?"
"Yes"
H then changed to a better voice later.