Today's argument

H and I stayed late last night as most of the time. This time it was because of his job issues. He waited for the calls that was agreed by his client and future employers, but they never came. Netherless to say that it was very unsettling to both of us. I felt depressed given I am also very uncertain about my latest pregnancy.

Next morning (today) I was tired but still got up and cooked for me and A. H was late getting up. When we had breakfast, I asked to share the sausage H was having. He cut a half and said "this is for you", I said "I just want a little bit". So he cut a bit and put it on fork, and I took a small bit. I did not want to eat too much because it is salty and unhealthy although I really like the taste. Just as I was planning to slowly enjoyed the sausage, H said "finish it all together now",
Me (in a unhappy tone cause I felt pushed):"later"
Then H was really angry "I need my fork!!!"
I asked him "why do have use such tone to talk?"
H:"You were using it first!" by this time he was shouting and in real range.
I got very upset too. This was morning, I was tired, and the first thing was to hear him shouting. We were immediately in intense argument infront of A.
H argued that he was using bad tone only because I used it first and I was using double standard and ignore my own flaw only saw his flaw.
I told him that if he had problem with my voice or tone he should have told me in calm voice and not to shout. If he did that it should have gone like this:
H: "finish it all together now",
Me:"later"
H: "why did you use such tone?"
M: "You are pushing me to eat"
H: "I Just want that fork"
M: "Sorry I misunderstood you".

The argument ended with me saying even if I was faulting in the first place, he as a guy, should not shout and should be gentle to ladies and he reluctantly apologized, but I could tell he did not feel he was wrong and he just want to make peace.

Two events

I was working on the summer camp bill, when H said "I would like to work on the reimbursement." Me: "OK", then glanced at the small pile of unpaid yet enveloped bills on the kitchen chair "but, can you finish them first?"

H (unhappy voice): "Reimbursement is really important. Let me do it first!" He walked away. A moment later, I heard sound of wash machine. 15 minutes later, no H in sight. He was still upstairs.

Me: "H, what are u doing up there?"

H: "I am collecting the receipt for the reimbursement"

Me: "Can you come down plse.." I was getting angry.

When he came down, I told him that he ignore my request to clean up the bills on the chair. H argued that I always want him to do my "things" first no matter what he was up to. And that I had agreed that he could work on the reimbursement first because I said "OK" and then I changed my mind and that make him unhappy.

I told him that I got angry because I feel that he ignored my request and my points behind that request was really not my things is more important, but that he has to clean up his old work first, which was left by him several days ago. I also said that my "OK" was not an agreement, but only acknowlegement and he was merely playing word game for the sake of argument.

Our argument got heated up. I feel extremely angry. But eventually H backed off. He agreed that we need to clean up old stuff first and not to make assumption that I was always up to him personally. And be less emotionally and focus on the points I was trying to get cross.

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When H picked up A from school, I was in bathroom. I heard A kept asking "Dad, where is mom, where is mom?" H did not answer her, rather said "take off your shoes!" repeatedly in a cold voice. But A kept asking, and H said "you must first take off your shoes before you can find mommy."

At that point I said " can you pls use softer voice to her?"
H: "Was my voice bad?"
"Yes"
H then changed to a better voice later.